


Soon, I Hope

by canwetalkaboutcaptainswan



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Babies, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 04:57:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,652
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11029092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canwetalkaboutcaptainswan/pseuds/canwetalkaboutcaptainswan
Summary: This is the follow-up Daddy!Killian piece of 280 Days. I need to apologize in advance because it’s not as cotton-candy fluffy as my norm, but there is still a VERY healthy dose of daddy!Killian.





	Soon, I Hope

Up until this moment in time, Emma has never really regretted any of her mistakes. Sure, some of the ones she’d made were downright stupid and could’ve been avoided, but she couldn’t deny that most of the mistakes she’s made in her life _(mainly the big ones)_ have eventually led to some form of good. For instance: was getting into the yellow bug with Neal a mistake? **_Probably,_** but now she has Henry. Was giving Henry up for adoption a mistake? Some days she wishes she hadn’t, but then she realizes that if she hadn’t done it, her family wouldn’t be nearly as big as it is now. Was handcuffing Captain Hook and trapping him at the top of a beanstalk a mistake? **_Definitely. 100%._** But hey, now she’s married to him.

So, as Emma saw it, mistakes weren’t all that bad. On the contrary, they usually turned out beneficial, in the long run. Made her stronger, taught her something, helped her grow.

**_Until now._ **

**_***_ **

**_Now,_** despite the fact that she’d been told multiple times that it’s highly advisable that she remain in her chair, she gets up. Not just because she wants to, but because she **_needs to._** Needs to so viscerally that she feels like she might combust into flames if she doesn’t. She crosses the short distance from her chair to where her husband stands, hunched and broken, in between two very complicated looking contraptions. To any other he may appear fine, but not to her. The ache within her grows with each passing step because she can **_feel_** hopelessness boiling off him like steam from a screaming kettle. He hasn’t even realized she’s entered the room, but the minute her palms make contact with his shoulder blades, he loses it. He turns and leans into her, and she finds that suddenly she’s bearing a startling amount of his weight, ( ** _definitely_** against any and all recommendations for a woman in her state) but she manages. She manages because she knows that **_she_** needs to be the strong one this time, and that is non-negotiable. Yes, she needs to be strong, because this time, he just **_can’t._** He’s hopeless and frail and more downright terrified then she’s ever seen him in all her life. And it’s with Killian’s chin sharp against her collarbone and his nails digging into her back and his ragged, breathless sobs flowing into her ear that she realizes what a **_colossal, terrible_** mistake she has made. And this mistake? No one will be benefiting from. No one will be learning from it or growing from it and it will not be leading to anything but **_pain._** And honestly? If she could go back in time and erase it, there’s not **_any doubt in her mind that she would._**

_****** hours earlier.****** _

Dr Cameron speaks calmly, but her words still chill Killian to the bone.

“So Baby A still isn’t progressing all that far into the birth canal, and he’s starting to experience mild fetal distress. So, although I know it’s not in your birth plan, I’m going to suggest we do a cesarean. We can wait another half hour to see if he goes further down, but I’d agree to do it now if that’s what you want me to do.”

 _Fetal distress? **DISTRESS?**_ Killian’s heart is racing at a mile a minute and all the beeping going on is doing nothing to help. _Cesarean?_ He’d read about that. _That’s where they make an incision and then—_

“Yes, I’m fine with that,” Emma nods, her sweaty brow furrowed. **_“I just want them out.”_**

Killian also nods, not because he necessarily assents but because he feels like he should. He’s still locked on the words _**fetal distress**_ , and he stares at the screens surrounding Emma’s hospital bed, desperately wishing he had a better understanding of what they all mean. Emma squeezes his hand, and he turns his attention back to her. She’s been ridiculously calm this entire time, and he has not a clue how she’s managing it. He loves her **_fiercely_** for it.

“Hey. Come **_here,_** ” she orders, and he crouches obediently. She reaches her hand up, being careful of her IV, and tugs him in for a quick, reassuring kiss. “It’s going to be okay, Killian. It won’t be long now. The doctor’s going to take them out surgically. Like, she’s gunna cut me open. It sounds scary but it’s a perfectly safe procedure. It’ll be safer for the babies that way. They’ll let you stay with me while it happens, but you’re gunna have to change into special clothes that they give you. They’re called scrubs. It’s okay. They’ll be here soon, okay? Remember what my dad told you. Focus on being excited, not on being worried.”

Killian gulps but nods, forcing a smile and taking her hand. Emma rubs the back of his fingers with her thumb, knowing for a fact that he’s totally freaked out. Medical personnel rush around her, getting things ready, and she sees Killian watching them, his bottom lip pulled tight between his teeth. **_“Hey,”_** she says again, tugging on his hand. “Just focus on me, Killian,” she says gently. “Eyes on me. We’re doing this together, okay?”

“Okay, Swan,” he says. “Okay.”

The next hour is a blur, and when he thinks back on it, all he can really remember of the procedure is holding Emma’s hand while he sat by her head. There was a tall sheet separating them from Emma’s abdomen and the doctors, and before he knew it, Dr. Cameron was holding up the **_tiniest_** human being he’d ever laid eyes on in his life. “Here’s Baby A!” she said happily, and Emma’s gasp matched his. The baby was immediately handed off to someone, and after a minute his wails filled the room. That’s when Killian’s tears started. He didn’t know where to look, whether at Emma or the baby or at the doctor who was busy retrieving the **_other baby._** A few minutes passed and a second tiny boy was hoisted in the air, purpler than the first. “Here’s your baby B!”

“Killian, we **_did it!”_** Emma exclaimed, wiping the tears from her eyes. “Our boys!”

Killian nodded and smiled, tears falling freely down his face. The second baby got passed off to the waiting nurse, and soon he was crying too. Killian leaned down and kissed Emma’s forehead, nuzzling her briefly. His heart was doing all sorts of things, panic and joy tumbling into each other over and over again.

“Surgical count!” someone yelled over the cries of the babies. Suddenly Killian was hyperaware of the various noises in the room. The babies were still crying, Dr. Cameron was yelling out numbers as well as something about sponges, and there were many people crowded around the little platforms where their infants lay, and they were shouting things. Killian’s panic flared, not knowing where to look, not knowing what to do. Emma had her eyes closed and that worried him. His babies were crying. There were **_so many noises._**

Suddenly Doctor Cameron was next to Killian, placing a hand on his shoulder. “The babies will get checked out and taken to the NICU now. Emma, you’ll have to stay in recovery for a few hours. Dad can go with babies or stay with Mom.”

Killian’s eyes blew wide and he felt his breath catch. _Stay with his wife who’d just undergone major surgery, or go with the two tiniest little things on the planet? An impossible choice. One he couldn’t **possibly—**_

“Go **_with them_** , Killian,” Emma orders, interrupting Killian’s mental distress. Emma’s eyes are open again, and she squeezes his hand with all of her might before letting it go.  “I’ll be fine. You stay with our boys, that way they won’t be alone. I’ll be down there soon. I love you. Go with them.”

Killian nods at her, leaning to kiss her on the lips, and smoothes her sweaty hair down and behind her ear. “I’ll go with them, darling.” he promises her. “You did **_so good,_** Emma. **_I’m so proud of you._** ” Dr. Cameron pats his shoulder again, giving him a slight push in the direction of the crowd of doctors and nurses who are clearly about to wheel their babies down the hallway.

Emma turns her head to watch him go, the tension in his back and shoulder muscles discernible through his scrubs even from where she lays on the gurney 10 feet away. She wonders idly if she made the right choice, sending him with the twins rather than keeping him next to her. She hopes it wasn’t a mistake. She hopes he’ll be okay.

***************************************************

( _It was a mistake._ **_A terrible mistake._** )

****************************************************

“Hey. ** _Hey._** **_Look at me,_** Killian. Sweetheart. My love. Breathe with me, just for a minute. Eyes on me. Good. Deep breath in, **_slow_**. That’s it, just try. Again, Killian. For me, okay?”

Killian tries his best to obey his wife, but she’s hazy through the tears in his eyes and the panic in his mind. His breathing is ragged, rough, and the air he gets just doesn’t seem like _**enough.**_ He can feel Emma’s hands on his face, and he tries to focus on that, on the soft slide of her palms against his stubble, her thumbs sweeping gently across his cheeks. But then, all at once he seems to lose her, and suddenly he’s back in that _room with the beeping and the yelling and the wires and the tubes, too many places to look and too many **noises** and not enough space, not enough space and his babies, **his babies-**_

Emma gives up trying to get him to breathe right and pulls him back into her, cradling his head against her chest. Her heart positively aches for him, his tangible fear cutting into her soul like broken shards of glass. She hates herself for the mistake she made. She ** _never_** should’ve sent him out here by himself, equipped with absolutely **_zero_** knowledge about anything going on around him. If she’d been with him? Sure. There’s no doubt even though he would’ve been scared, she could’ve kept him reasonably calm with actions, with explanations, with her mere presence at his side. But **_no_**. Instead, she’d made him leave his cut-open wife on a gurney to follow after his two tiny, helpless, wailing infants while doctors and nurses shouted words he didn’t understand and connected scary looking machinery to various parts of his babies’ bodies. And now, hours later, he’s shaking and shaking, falling more truly apart than she’s ever seen him fall. She holds him tight, her face pressed against his hair, trying desperately to shut the world off for him, if only for a minute. At first she doesn’t know what to say, can’t think of any words that will ground him to her or help him find his breath. But then she remembers when Leia was born, and how **_she_** had been the one in hysterics. She remembers feeling like she’d **_die_** if she let Leia out of her grip for the nurses to clean and weigh, and she remembers what Killian had said that helped calm her down.

“Killian, **_I won’t let go,_** ” she whispers to him now, her body starting to really ache from holding them up in this position, “We are going to get through this, I promise. And I will not let go, okay? I’m so sorry you were all by yourself out here for so long. But I’m here now. I’m not gunna let go, Killian. And our babies are right here, it’s alright. You did **_so good,_** Killian. I love you so much. I’m so sorry you were out here by yourself but you did so good. You did so good, sweetheart. **_I’m so proud of you._** I love you.” She’s whispering to him as calmly as she can, a continuous string of reassurance right into his ear. She strokes his face with her palm still, fingers grazing his stubble, a familiar action she hopes will help. After a few minutes he shifts, albeit still quaking, and leans up to look at her. The weight of the mistake hits Emma again when she takes in the veins pulsing in his forehead, the endless wrinkles of worry creased in his brow, and the seemingly bottomless sorrow set deep in his red-rimmed blue eyes.

“I…I didn’t even…” he starts, his voice raw and quivering, and she tilts her head in encouragement, waiting for him to collect himself. He tries again. “They…I… _didn’t even get to **hold them,**_ ” he croaks, and Emma feels tears well up and a lump form in her throat at how devastated he sounds. “They were crying, **_both_** of them, so **_much_** for so long and **_I couldn’t…_** ”

“Oh Killian, I’m so sorry,” she tells him, wrapping her arms around him in a more traditional type of hug. She can’t even comprehend how terrible the past few hours must’ve been for him. When it comes to his children, the best way Emma can think to describe Killian is **_protector._** Since the minute Leia arrived into the world, Killian has focused on naught but keeping her safe and free from harm, both physical and emotional. He can’t stand it when she cries and does not rest until she’s calm and tucked safely in his arms. So to literally have been **_trapped_** in a room, while his minutes-old sons squalled in the hands of strangers, completely powerless to do **_anything to help them?_** Emma’s gut twists. Not even Hades himself could’ve cooked up a purer form of torture for him.

“I promise you, they are both okay. Yes, they are super tiny and need a lot of support from the machines right now. But the nurse who was with me in recovery was getting me constant updates on both of them, and **_nothing_** is majorly wrong with them, Killian. I know it looks scary and it feels scary. I mean, it **_is scary,_** how small and fragile they are. But I need you to understand that the stuff happening to them is all more or less typical for premature babies. Especially twins. And I **_know_** that’s super hard for you to understand. But trust me, okay? **_I promise you,_** they’ll both be okay. You know I wouldn’t say that to you if it wasn’t true.”

Killian listens as intently as he can, trying to let himself be comforted by the calm lilt in his wife’s tone. The slightest fraction of tension eases out of his shoulders, and though it’s only a tiny step of progress, Emma still appreciates it. She scratches his back lightly, trying to think of a question to ask him that won’t increase his level of panic.

“So? Can you tell them apart, Daddy?” she whispers gently, her tone light and airy now.

He manages the tiniest of smiles. “I can, actually. It was difficult at first, but they’re quite different. At least, to me.”

She smiles proudly at him, trying not to let tears form in her eyes. **_“Will you teach me?”_** she asks him.

He looks at Emma then, **_really_** looks at her, and again, another fraction of tension seems to leave him. “Of course, love,” he tells her, pulling at her waist, “come and see.”

The move in tandem to the contraption on the left, and Emma looks at the baby inside for the first time. Her heart swells and shatters all at once. He’s **_so tiny,_** covered in wires, a mask over his face to help him breathe and a shield covering his eyes. A needle stuck in his foot. Her _ **poor baby.**_ Her poor son. Like Killian, she aches desperately to hold him, but she quells her sudden urge to cry; she’s being strong. She has to be strong right now.

“This one is our Odyn,” Killian explains, even though somehow, Emma just knew already that it was. “He’s a bit bigger than his brother. Rounder. He has your chin. They both do, actually,” he says lovingly, lightly caressing her dimple. “His cheeks are puffier than his brother’s. His complexion is darker, too.”

Emma crouches then, letting the tears form. (Y _ou’re still strong even with tears in your eyes,_ she thinks to herself. Something Killian has said to Leia before, she’s sure.) “He’s so ** _beautiful_** ,” she whispers. “ ** _Hi there,_** Mr. Odyn. Are you mama’s strong boy? I love you **_so much,_** honey. I’m right here, yes I am. I love you, tiny love. Daddy’s here too. We’re right here, Odyn. You aren’t all by yourself.”

She’s really gunna lose it and just ** _cry_** if she doesn’t stop looking and she can feel Killian getting worked up right behind her, so she tears herself away from Odyn and turns to his older (but smaller) brother.  Her breath catches again when she sees their little Oliver, a spitting image of Odyn but at the same time, so different. Killian is right, he’s paler. He’s thinner too, with the most delicate and beautiful fingers and toes. Oliver doesn’t have a breathing mask like Odyn does, and seeing almost all of his sweet face takes Emma’s breath away. He’s got a shield over his eyes, just like his brother.  “Oh my goodness, look at those **_Leia lips,_** Daddy,” Emma comments, and Killian nods instantly.

“I know. You’ve your sister’s pout, my little lad. Our tiny one. You did a very good job being at the bottom of the heap, my boy. You kept you and your brother growing in there as long as you could, hmm? **_I’m so proud of you,_** Oliver. We love you so much.”

“We **_do,”_** Emma agrees, wiping at her eyes, “Oh, my sweet buddy,” she coos. Oliver’s IV is tapped to a vein in his head, and he’s got much the same amount of wires as his brother. “Mama’s gunna snuggle you **_so soon_** , tiny love. I promise, okay? I’m right here, Oliver. And your brother’s not far, either. I’ll bet it’s strange not having him right beside you, huh? He’s okay. You’re both okay. **_My sweet boys.”_**

A nurse comes up behind them then, tapping Emma on the shoulder. Emma turns to look at her, and suddenly Killian’s grip is tightening around her waist. She cards her fingers through his hair, willing him to believe that this woman is friend rather than foe. “Hi, I’m Carly,” the nurse introduces herself, smiling. “I’m the primary nurse caring for your twins. Before I start prattling away, do you have any questions for me?”

“Yes actually, we do,” Emma says politely, “When do you think we’ll be able to hold our little guys?”

Carly smiles brightly. “As soon as they’re done their phototherapy sessions, you can hold them right away. See the little timer in the corner of their monitors there? It’s counting down. Odyn’s is 21 minutes and Oliver’s…” she pauses, walking over to Oliver’s monitor, “…is at 13 and a half! So as soon as that’s done we can take their eye shields off and you can snuggle them,” she promises.

Killian’s breath catches in his throat at that, and again Emma feels him minutely relax. She also starts to feel pricks of pain in her abdomen, and she winces. The nurse doesn’t miss it.

“Can I grab your wheelchair for you, Emma? It’s best if you don’t stand for too too long,” she says gently.

Emma nods and Killian lets go of her immediately, surveying her for any visible injuries or signs of distress, and she can tell he’s considering panicking again. “I’m okay. **_It’s okay,_** ” she assures him, kissing his cheek before settling in the chair.

“Are these boys your first?” the nurse asks.

“No, our third and fourth, actually,” Emma explains, “but this is our first time in the NICU. The nurse in recovery explained some things to me, but would you mind explaining everything that’s going on? Just so we have a better understanding.”

Carly nods immediately. “That’s exactly what I meant about the prattling. I’ll explain everything in the care plans set out for each of your boys. Stop me if you have a question, okay?”

Emma looks up at Killian, who looks as though **_maybe_** he’s beginning to consider trusting this woman. “That sounds great,” Emma agrees.

Slowly and methodically, Carly explains each machine, wire, tube, and its respective purpose. She tells them about how Odyn has some fluid in his lungs, which is why he has the breathing machine. Oliver is paler because his blood count is low, and is scheduled to get a transfusion in the morning. Both boys have jaundice, which is what the special light treatments are for. As the conversation progresses, Killian seems to find his voice, and he starts asking periodic questions like Emma does.

And then, just like that, it’s been 13 and a half minutes.

A beeping noise starts and Carly stops mid-sentence to turn the bright light above Oliver’s NICU bed off. She presses various buttons and then unlocks the top of the pod-esque baby bed so she can open it up.

“Okay, time to take his little sunglasses off,” she coos, reaching to remove the mask from Oliver’s eyes. The baby’s tiny arms flail and his eyes flutter open, much to the enchantment of both his parents.

“Oh, little guy’s awake!” Carly exclaims. “Ready to hold him, Mama?”

Emma’s eyes are glued to Oliver’s sweet face, and though she wants nothing more than to hold him right this second, she knows that she **_absolutely cannot._**

“I got to have him close to me for months and months,” she says softly, turning to look up at Killian, “so I think I’ll let Daddy go first.”

Killian beams at her, and he fights to swallow the lump in his throat. The nurse nods and gestures to the nearby chair, where Killian sits immediately. She tells him to take off his shirt so they can be skin to skin, and both Emma and Killian expect her to comment on his lack of left hand. But she doesn’t.

“I’ll teach you both next time how to take them out of their little baby greenhouses so you can do it yourselves,” she promises, reaching in to get Oliver for Killian. She carefully moves all the wires attached to him to one side, before picking his tiny body up into her arms. Immediately, Oliver starts to cry. Killian’s arms twitch toward him automatically, desperate to finally have one of his babies in his arms.

“Oh, I’m sorry I disturbed you bud,” Carly coos to the baby, moving him carefully, “Here, **_there’s_** your daddy. He’ll make it all better.”

Emma wheels herself right next to Killian’s chair and watches reverently as Carly puts Oliver’s **_teeny tiny body_** on her husband’s warm chest. Muscle memory serves Killian well, and his hand comes up gently to cradle his son, all the while being mindful of the cords attached to him. The baby quiets as soon as he’s comfortable, his little ear nestled right over his father’s heartbeat.

Emma isn’t quite sure if her heart can handle the sight in front of her. Killian’s face is again filled with tears, but **_finally,_** thank goodness, they’re the happy kind. He’s got his lips pressed against the baby’s tiny dusting of light hair, his eyes closed tight in what has to be a moment of ** _pure, untainted bliss._** Tiny Oliver is perfect in **_every_** imaginable way, and Emma simply can’t resist leaning in to press a kiss to the tip of his little nose.

“ ** _There we go_** , huh, sweetheart?” Emma coos to the sweet baby, whose eyes are still wide and staring at her, now. “Daddy has you, duckling. Yeah, Daddy’s got you. He’s been waiting for you, tiny love. And Mummy is right here. But you already knew that, hmm? You know your Mummy’s voice. My sweet Oliver. **_I love you so much.”_**

Killian is falling deeply, madly in love all at once, his heart swelling to accommodate the weight of it all. The second the baby had been placed in his arms, everything **_finally_** started to feel real. And although he was still scared out of his wits (for various reasons), the soft rise and fall of Oliver’s back under his palm made it all worthwhile.

“Hi there, my precious lad,” Killian says ever so softly, and Emma gets all covered in gooseflesh because _oh how she’s missed the sweet sound of Killian talking to his baby._ “I’m **_so happy_** to have you in my arms, tiny love. **_So happy._** ”

Emma swipes at a tear that’s slipped down her cheek before leaning in to nuzzle her face against Killian’s shoulder. She feels him turn and press his lips to her forehead, the kiss gentle and perfect. “Thank you **_so much,_** my love,” he whispers to her, “You are amazing. **_So strong,_** my Emma.”

Emma smiles, kissing his bare shoulder softly. “I love you. **_Could not have done it without you.”_**

A few more minutes go by, and then Odyn’s timer goes off. Carly re-emerges and opens Odyn’s NICU bed, and Emma reaches up to untie her hospital gown. Killian looks very concerned when he spies her cesarean site, but thankfully Carly taking Odyn’s phototherapy shield off distracts him.

“He’s a little chunkier than his brother,” Carly says as she picks him up. Just like Oliver, Odyn starts to cry, and Oliver startles in Killian’s arms at the sound of his brother’s wail. Carly gives Odyn to Emma carefully, ensuring not to knock his breathing machine off his nose. “ ** _Shh,_** it’s okay, duckling. Your Mumma has you now,” Emma hushes the baby, and at the sound of her voice his crying ceases. She leans down to nuzzle the baby’s soft head, inhaling his fresh, calming baby scent. “ ** _There you go_** , little love. You go off to dreamland now, okay Odyn? You gotta sleep lots and get big and strong for me, okay? Yeah, it’s okay. Mummy won’t let you go.” The baby is delightfully warm in Emma’s arms, and she holds him close, loving the feeling of her tiny son pressed safely against her bare skin. Carly moves Emma’s wheelchair so she’s next to Killian and Oliver again, and Killian looks over in wonder at his wife and his… ** _second baby._**

Emma catches him staring and finds herself suddenly suppressing a fit of giggles. “Okay. Okay. How **_freaking crazy is this?_** ”

Killian shakes his head, his smile wide. “ ** _Beyond,_** Swan. I can barely comprehend it. There’s ** _this one…_** ” he gestures to Oliver, now snoozing against his chest, “and then…that **_other one,_** ” he laughs, nodding toward Odyn.

“Crazy.”

**_“Bonkers.”_ **

**_“I love it.”_ **

“Me too.”

Carly offers to take pictures of the four of them then, and they happily accept. “Leia is going to be **_so excited,_** ” Emma says suddenly, picturing their little girl’s sweet, loving smile. Killian’s face lights up at the mere mention of his daughter.

“Aye, love, she is. Your sister will be so smitten with you, my lads,” Killian coos. “Do you think she’s alright?” He asks suddenly, his brow furrowing as guilt seeps into his heart for a minute. He hates being away from Leia in any capacity, and it suddenly feels like it’s been forever since he’s seen her smiling face.

“Oh, I’m sure she’s fine, Killian,” Emma assures him, picturing their daughter cuddled up with her Uncle Neal, most likely watching The Force Awakens. “She’s so grown up.”

Killian gives her a death stare. “Swan. We agreed not to speak of that ever, **_ever again, remember?”_**

Emma chuckles at him, glad to see he’s slowly easing back into his normal personality. “Right, right. Sorry, Daddy.”

Another nurse approaches them then, and Emma recognizes it to be Amber, the one who’d been with her in recovery. “Hi Emma,” she greets, “I’m just here to assess your pain level real quick. Could you rate it on a scale of 0-10 for me?”

Up until this point, Emma’s been paying virtually no mind to the ache in her abdomen, having been much too focused on calming Killian down, and of course the babies. But now, when she concentrates on it, she realizes that it hurts. **Quite a bit.** ( _Yeah. Standing and supporting nearly all of Killian’s weight? Definitely a terrible idea.)_ She clenches her teeth for a second, and braces herself for what will surely be a worried reaction from Killian. “I’d say about a 7.5,” she says, praying that Killian is too wrapped up in his sons to listen to her answer.

Amber’s eyes widen. “Oh dear, I’m sorry about that. I’m gunna wheel you down for some pain meds before it gets any worse and check out your incision, okay? I promise it won’t take long.”

Emma turns to look at Killian, who is indeed visibly, **_extremely_** upset that she’s experiencing pain. She also feels her heart clench at the thought of putting Odyn back down in his bassinet. She’d **_just_** promised him that she wouldn’t let him go. Amber seems to sense the silent conversation going on between Emma and Killian, not failing to notice their matching frowns.

“Hey, I have an idea,” she suggests, and Emma and Killian both turn to her. “Would Daddy like to hold both his boys while we go?”

Emma feels her anxiety leave her body at the nurse’s words, and her frown turns instantly into a smile. “Oh. Daddy would absolutely ** _love that._** ”

Emma locks eyes with her husband, whose face is a pure mixture of agony because she’s in pain and utter joy at the fact that finally, he’s getting the chance to have **_both_** his boys ** _close,_** where he can feel them breathe and **_know_** they’re safe. It’s all he’s wanted for the past 7 months, and Emma is so, **_so_** happy for him.

Amber first adjusts Oliver, moving him over to one side of Killian’s chest to make enough room for Odyn too. Emma kisses Odyn’s forehead just before Amber takes him from her, carefully transferring him into Killian’s arms. Amber arranges the boys so they’re facing each other, practically forehead to forehead, snuggled safely side by side with their daddy. Their sweet, ** _perfect father_** who once again, has tears filling his eyes.

Amber smiles and goes to push Emma down the hallway, but Emma raises a hand. “I just need a few more minutes. Is that okay?” she begs, and immediately the nurse nods, turning to grab Emma’s chart from the portfolio.

“ ** _There_** we go, sweet babies,” Emma croons to them, reaching up to rub their backs with her knuckles, “Look at your daddy. Successfully hogging you both already. Is this how it’s gunna be? **_Hmm?_** Do you have **_any idea_** yet how much your daddy loves you, boys? **_So much._** He loves you so, so much, my ducklings. He’ll keep you safe while I’m gone, okay? He’ll always keep you safe. **_Always, always._** ”

Emma leans to wipe the tears off Killian’s cheeks. “Are you okay if I go? I won’t be long,” she asks him seriously, worried about leaving him by himself again.

“Aye, we’ll be just fine, Emma,” he promises, holding the babies a fraction tighter. “Are you sure you don’t need me to come with you, darling?” he asks her, again feeling the same ache he felt when he left her by herself after the twins were born.

“No no, I want you to stay with them,” she assures him, rubbing his forearm with her thumb, “I’ll be fine alone. I just want to make sure you’re really okay if I’m gone for a bit. Are you **_sure_** you’re okay?”

He nods, and it’s enough to convince her. “If anything happens, just call for Carly, Killian. You can trust her. You can trust everybody here, remember? They all have the babies’ best interests in mind. I promise.”

“Aye love,” he says, frowning. “I’m so sorry about before, Swan. I should’ve kept my head, been stronger for-“

“Hey, **_hey, hey._** **_Stop,_** ” she cuts him off, squeezing his arm, “I don’t want to hear you apologizing for any of it, Killian. These are your babies and you were scared and I was not here to make you feel better or explain anything to you. That is **_not your fault_** , not any of it. You had every right to be scared, sweetheart. It was scary, hey?”

He winces, shuddering at the memories. “I was terrified, Emma. I’ve never felt more helpless in all my life,” he whispers.

She nods encouragingly, cupping his face, wanting him to tell her these things, to share these feelings with her now instead of bottling them up to fester at him later. “Better now, though?” she asks, gesturing with her chin to the two infants sleeping soundly against him.

“So much better.”

“Okay, good. I’m gunna go now, okay? I love you. I’ll be back soon.”

“I love you too, Mummy. We’ll be waiting.”

She smiles, leaning in to kiss him quickly. Right on cue, Amber appears again. “Ready now?”

Emma nods. “Ready.”

The nurse takes control of Emma’s chair, pushing her out towards the hallway. Killian tightens his grip on his sons, checking to make sure Odyn’s breathing mask is still snugly over his nose.

He knows they’re sleeping but he doesn’t care. He talks anyway.

“Mummy will be ** _right back_** , sweet lads,” he promises the boys. “She took such good care of you, didn’t she? Yes, she’s a marvel, your mum. You’d best get used to me going on about her. She is the most amazing woman in the world, after all. Which, I’m sure you’d agree.”

He talks softly like that to his sons, hoping that the sound of his voice will help them sleep better, grow faster. They feel so small in his arms, worlds smaller than Leia ever did, and it worries him, but he tries to do what David advised him. Focus on excitement instead of worry.

He tells the boys all about their brother and sister, his chest again growing tight when he thinks of Leia, at home without her parents. He’s **_always_** been loathe to leave her, and even when he does, it’s never for long at all. He spies a clock on the wall and notices that it’s 11:14pm, much past his little love’s bedtime. Bedtime is Killian and Leia’s sacred time of the day, has been since the day she came home from the hospital. He prays to Zeus that his daughter is alright, that Snow and David told her enough stories, that now she’s sleeping soundly in her giant Jolly Roger bed, dreaming happy things.

**********

On her way to get pain meds, Emma checks her phone. Her eyes widen when she notices she has 3 missed calls from her mom.

“Okay if I make a phone call?” she asks Amber, already dialling. Amber nods, and Emma presses the phone to her ear. Her mother answers on the first ring.

“Emma!” she cries, relieved. “Finally!”

“I’m so sorry, Mom. I didn’t have my phone on hand. Things have been a bit crazy around here, what with the birthing twins thing,” Emma says. “Is everything okay?”

“Well is everything okay over there? Grandma needs more frequent updates!”

“Yes, we’re all stable now,” Emma assures her, feeling bad for not contacting her parents sooner. “I’ll send you some pictures in a bit. I’m actually really sorry for the lack of updates. We’re all doing great. I’m just on my way to get more pain meds.”

“That’s okay, honey. Are you in a lot of pain? How’s Killian doing?”

“Umm…not like a lot a lot. But kind of. And **_Killian’s_** …okay **_now._** When I left him he had both boys in his arms, so that made him happy. Honestly he kind of…well he got _super_ traumatized by the whole thing. I should’ve kept him with me instead of sending him to intensive care with the boys. It was all a little too 21st century and foreign to him and he freaked out. But he’s doing better now,” she finishes hurriedly.

 ** _“Oh,”_** her mother says, and Emma’s ears bristle at her mother’s strange tone. She almost sounds like she’s coming to some kind of realization. Suddenly, Emma remembers the three missed calls and- _wait. Shit. **SHIT.**_

“Mom, why did you call me those times earlier?” she asks suddenly, her heart sinking in her chest. _Please god, no. **Please, no**_ **.** “Did something happen with Leia?”

Her mother is quiet for a beat. “… ** _well,_** before you start to worry—“

 ** _“MOM,”_** Emma orders, feeling the stress well in her chest. She can sense what’s coming.

“ ** _She’s fine now,”_** are the words her mother chooses to start with, “Henry came. We called him when you didn’t pick up. She’s sleeping in her bed.”

Emma squeezes her eyes shut, pressing her palm to her forehead. “She felt it, didn’t she? When Killian was upset,” she states, not even caring what Amber will think if she happens to be eavesdropping.

“….I’m afraid so.”

 ** _Fuck. SHIT._** Emma’s heart literally severs in half and _Killian— **fuck**_ **.** Killian is going to **_lose it_** when he finds this out. “Oh god. Was it bad?”

Another beat of silence. _Oh god._ “…it was…intense,” Snow says slowly, and Emma shakes her head, the goddamn lump back in her throat and this time, not for a happy reason. “The kids were playing outside, and suddenly she ran into the house, and…”

 _She was in a fit of hysterics. Screaming that her daddy was in trouble. Out of breath and purple in the face and crying and crying for her father,_  Emma filled in the blanks for her mother. It was unexplainable, the connection Killian and Leia had. Leia had always been super attuned to Killian’s feelings, but they never considered that she’d be able to sense anything from **_miles and miles away._** It was usually just in the middle of the night, when they were a mere hallway apart from each other. Whenever Killian had a nightmare, Leia woke up in tears. And sometimes, without even realizing it, she’d magic herself from her room to her parents’, so she could crawl in Killian’s lap until he calmed down. **_And now_** -

“Henry came as soon as we called him. And she did so good, she didn’t even try to use any magic.”

Emma sighs in relief at that. “But she cried herself to sleep in his arms, didn’t she?”

“…yes,” her mother sighs. “I’m sorry.”

“No. **_I’m_** sorry. God, I’m really the parent of the year. I should’ve seen this coming,” Emma scolds herself, sighing, and nodding to the nurse who is about to administer pain meds in her IV.

“Emma, it isn’t your fault. And you were a little preoccupied, you know with the birthing twins thing,” she echoes Emma’s words from before.

Emma sighs again, battling the lump. “How long has she been asleep?”

“Just over an hour.”

“Can you wake her up? I want to talk to her right now.”

Snow knows not even to consider arguing with Emma when it comes to Leia. “Sure, sweetheart. Give me a minute.”

It’s quiet for a minute, and Emma takes that opportunity to get out of the chair and lay on the examination table. She smiles apologetically at Amber for the fact that she’s still on the phone, but Amber just shakes her head politely.

“Mommy?” a groggy, sad-sounding voice croaks through the phone. Emma’s breath catches.

“ ** _Hi, Leiabear,”_** Emma says gently. “I love you so much, sweetheart. Are you okay?”

 _ **“…Daddy…”**_ Leia whimpers, and Emma can **_feel_** her daughter’s panic, her fear.

“Shh, **_shh_** , it’s okay, cygnet. Daddy’s better now, I promise, Leia. He’s okay. I’m so sorry, honey.”

“What happened?”

Emma is quiet for a moment while she thinks of the best way to explain.

“Mama? Where are my baby brothers?”

“Daddy’s with them, Leiabear,” Emma answers quickly. “They’re teeny tiny, so they need lots of cuddles. And you know how Daddy loves to cuddle.”

“But why was Daddy so **_sad?_** ” she asks.

“He was so sad because he couldn’t hold your brothers right away, cygnet,” Emma explains gently.  “Right after they were born, the baby doctors had to make sure they were okay, so they took them into a different room. Daddy went, too. And Olly and Odyn were crying, but Daddy couldn’t pick them up because the doctors needed to give them check-ups, and special stuff that will help them grow and get stronger. They were crying and crying, and Daddy just wanted to make them feel better but he wasn’t allowed to while the doctors did their work. See, when ** _you_** were first born, and you were crying and crying, Daddy could pick you up **_right away_** and made you feel better. And he couldn’t do that with Oliver and Odyn. So that’s why he was sad.”

“And he was crying?”

“Yeah, sweetie. He was. You could feel it, huh? When Daddy was so sad?”

“Mmm-hmm,” Leia says quietly, and she takes a sharp little breath, like she’s reliving it for a second. “It was like when he has nightmares, but it was worser. It hurt my belly and it was hard to breathe. He was so so sad, and he was scared, too. **_He wanted you._** ”

Emma feels her heart break further. “I’m **_so sorry_** it hurt you, honey. **_You’re so brave, Leia._** And yeah, he was scared, sweetheart. He was all by himself.”

“Why didn’t you go with him?” she asks.

“I was still laying down after getting the babies out of my belly. I couldn’t get up yet.”

“Oh.”

“I’m **_so_** proud of you, Leia. Grandma told me you didn’t do any magic.”

Leia’s quiet for a minute. “I wanted to,” she confesses. “He would’ve felt **_so much better_** if I gave him a hug.”

Emma sighs sadly. Leia just loves Killian **_so much._** “I **_know_** , sweetheart. You’re so right, he would’ve. But he’s okay now. I gave him lots of hugs. I know yours are better, but mine still did the trick.”

Leia’s breath quickens, like it does whenever she’s trying not to cry. **_“I want Daddy,”_** she whispers.

“Oh, honey. He wants you too. We miss you so much.”

“Can I talk to him?”

“Of course, Leia. I’m just getting some medicine and then I’m going back to where Daddy and the babies are. So you snuggle with Henry for a few minutes, okay? Then Daddy will call you.”

“Okay.”

“I love you so much, Leia. You’re being so brave. Give the phone back to Grandma, okay? And give Henry a kiss for me.”

“I love you too, Mommy. Is your belly small now?”

Emma laughs. “It’s definitely not **_small,_** ” she explains. “But it’s a lot less round now. I’m **_so happy_** your brothers are finally here.”

“Me too, Mommy. Bye-bye.”

“Bye, duckling. **_I love you._** ”

**********  
Killian takes the news about Leia as heartbrokenly as Emma imagined he would. Carly gives Oliver to Emma so Killian has his hand free to use the phone, and Emma rubs his thigh soothingly as she listens to his side of the conversation.

_“Hi, my sweet little love. Oh, my Leia. My heart aches for you, darling. I’m so sorry. Please, sweetheart. Please don’t cry. Daddy loves you so much.”_

Killian hushes her gently, and Emma reaches up to wipe the tears from his cheeks, for he’s holding the phone with his hand and cradling Odyn in his left arm and therefore can’t do it himself.

_“Aye, that’s right, darling. And I’m much, much better. Your wee brothers are doing just fine for now.”_

_“Because it was just like whenever you have to get a shot, little lass. You know how Daddy always gets so upset? It was much the same as that. Aye, they did.”_

_“Hey, now. You can **tell me** , sweetheart. Whatever it is, it’s alright. I promise you.” _

_“Oh, my lass. You mustn’t think yourself cruel, Leia. I understand what you mean. I wish we were together, too. You know how I can’t bear leaving you.”_

_“Aye, that’s right. You’ll love them **so much,** Leia. They’re perfect, like you. And they look just like you, but with light hair. Yes, I have Odyn right now. Mummy’s right next to me, with Oliver.” _

_“I don’t truly know, sweetness. Soon, I hope. Me and Mummy will find out, alright?”_

_“Yes, she’s just fine, she’s just a bit sore is all. She’s **so magnificent** , Leia. She makes me so proud.”_

_“We could talk for hours I’m sure, but you’re tired, sweetness. I can hear it in your voice.”_

_“Hey, hey. Shh, **shh,** my lass. You know I’m **always** with you, right? Even when we’re not in the same place, you still have me in your heart, precious one. And you **know** how much I love you. My brave, sweet Leia. Everything will be alright.”_

_“Of course I will, darling. Snuggle up with your brother now. Shall I sing you to sleep, little love?”_

Leia must’ve said yes, because Killian starts to sing softly into the phone, absentmindedly rocking his son while he does it. Emma closes her eyes, resting her cheek against Oliver’s soft hair. As Killian sings, Emma imagines Leia curled up next to Henry, nestled under her navy blue covers in her gigantic Jolly Roger bed, and suddenly she **_can’t wait._** She can’t wait until this is all over, until they’re home, until they’re all curled up in the huge bed together, Henry on the edge with the storybook and Leia’s head on Killian’s chest and baby boys **_everywhere you look._**

 ** _Soon, I hope._ ** Killian’s words echo in her mind as his singing becomes softer and softer, and the steady beeping of the various monitors reminds Emma where they are, and suddenly the baby in her arms feels impossibly tiny.

 ** _I hope so too,_** she thinks.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're wondering how to pronounce Odyn, it's Oh-din. Hope you enjoyed this story! Thanks for reading and for your support!


End file.
